its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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