Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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