Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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