Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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