then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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