his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
