so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
