but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
smell my finger.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
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