I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They took my balls.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
