Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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