She's JV to your varsity
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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