I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
