she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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