Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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