OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
