Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
did you just send me my own nude
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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