What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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