Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
