Need sex. Gaining weight.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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