? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
