kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
