I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
