All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
no you cant smoke seaweed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
