Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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