I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i will never coherently bang her
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
