quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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