Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My breasts were aching with rage.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
