no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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