i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
