New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
