NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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