Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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