Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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