Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
