we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
