i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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