No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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