I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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