Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
