I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
