And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
