i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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