yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
