my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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