Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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