Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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