So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
