Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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