There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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