Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
