Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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