The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
